It went amazingly, actually. I never thought it would. I mean, bad enough that she was marrying Drippy Kevin. It didn’t start well either. The car carrying her and my dad broke down on the way. Kevin mucked the words up. Just like you’d expect, actually. No surprises there. And it started raining just as they started taking the photos.
The worse, though, was when they run out of wine at the reception. Nobody could work out why. It wasn’t as if anybody was putting it anyway unnecessarily. And Dad swears to God he ordered enough. He worked it out very carefully with the manager at the Red Lion.
Anyway, Chris came to the rescue. He’s the son of my dad’s best mate Joe. Joe’s a cabinet-maker and my dad’s a fitter. They were at college together. Chris is his oldest son. He was always like a big brother to me. Following in his dad’s footsteps, he is now. Makes all sorts of interesting furniture. Not married either, though he’d be a good catch.
Anyway, he saved the day. “Bring out lots of jugs of water,” he said.
“You can’t let them drink water,” I said.
“Trust me, they won’t know the difference.”
It’s funny. We didn’t. In fact, the water tasted just like wine. As it ran out, the hotel staff just brought out more water. It even looked like wine in the glasses – you know, slightly yellow and not quite clear. And as we toasted the bride and groom, everybody seemed to have bubbles in their glasses.
Nobody got drunk, but everybody grew mellow. People who not been speaking to each other for years started talking again. Our family got to know Kevin’s family. Even Drippy Kevin seemed less drippy by the end.
I don’t know what that Chris did. Perhaps it was some sort of magic. Or perhaps he hypnotised us all. I suppose he might have nipped round to the Cash and Carry while nobody was looking. Whatever. It’s a waste, him being a cabinet-maker.
Funny thing though. What my uncle said to my dad when everybody was leaving.“Good do, that, little bro’. Unusual, though, serving the better wine last.”